A few days ago ...

I know, I know. Most of you had said I should forget him. And after a long time, I've thought of doing so.
Because he knows I'm on him and if he wants something from me he should come to me. It makes no sense to think about him all the time.
Recently I saw him at a party of good friends. My friends introduced me guys and I began to talk to them. Suddenly I turn around and he stood next to me. He tried to talk with us but I ignored him a bit.
I want to get to know him, but not like my crush. He seems to be a nice boy. I will tell you what happened next.

coincidence or destiny ?

I hate it. And I hate him. No, I love him. And I have to see him everyday. That´s why I can not forget him. It´s like it has to be destiny. I don't refer to the faith of horoscopes in magazines and even the chance to see when you turn the TV your favorite TV program. This is different. I have seen him in places where I would have never thought that he could stay there. And just at the moments when I wanted to see him but at the moment I really never expect it.Often enough, I was wondering if I should forget him, despite difficult circumstances. But I can not, because I always have to think of him no matter what I do. And what he thinks of me makes me hesitate to finally make a decision. That makes it even worse.

Hate that I love you

And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so...

Previously on ...

In the last time a lot of things changed. I'm already 17 and I observe that my parents try to treat me like a young lady but they think that I'm not ready for it... so my challenge now is to show my parents how responsible I can be. Another thing what's running through my head is the fact that I fell a long time ago in love with a boy and I can't forget him. The most confusing thing is the everday eye-contact but the doubtful feeling if he feels like I do . In my life many things seem if they aren't complete. I'm a little bit shy and should try to convert my attitude. I lost the sight of school and now I get bad marks because I am to silent in class and don't trust in me. Sometimes I feel like I am not able to act on one's own initiative. I must get more self confident !